12:53 am - Sunday, Aug. 24, 2003
My first day back with all the OC's
short, but sweet. I need to be back at the core in 8 hours, so I want to get some sleep. Camping wasn't today...it's tomorrow. I was fooled. We were all fooled. But today was a busy and productive one none the less. It was really nice to see everyone agian, although I still get the feeling in the pit of my stomach that I am not really able to be myself around people. I want to relax, chill, talk. Everyone else wants to drink, party, be rowdy. So I play along. How stupid is that? Can they really be my friends if I have to fake who I am? It's not that they won't like me if I'm myself... it's just that I'm not LIKE them. I don't really belong. I am a happy and outgoing person that hates people :) Well, maybe it's not that drastic.
I want to get a hold of Marcus. It seems stupid for him to come out here, because I got my OC schedule, and my week is really crazy. I work from 9-5, we get an hour, and then we all go out - one night to a fancy dinner, one night to Wolfe Island to go star watching and have a campfire, one night a scavenger hunt. Marcus is going to have nothing to do. Sunny is already furious with me for blowing off monday to work (and tuesday morning) so I can't skip anything else. I can just see if marcus comes out on monday, him sitting around and having nothing to do all day, and then seeing me for an hour, and being alone all night. It's not fair to him. I don't want to do it, but I'm just going to tell him that he should stay home until thursday - that way, we can have thursday night together (which I have free) before all of the gael madness begins. I have to be at the core at 6am friday to do gael registration. Yikes. Anyway, camping tomorrow, which should be a lot of fun. I just have this knot in my stomach about work...I still need to talk with them about the first day of school, first week. Marcus said that if I ABSOLUTLY needed someone, that he would do it, but that would be horrible of me to drop on him. Besides, they won't let a boy babysit their kids, I'm sure of it. Damn. I just am not in a good mood, I feel fenced in and being pulled in too many different directions. I wish it were all easier.
