9:36 pm - Wednesday, Oct. 08, 2003
Changes in my Family
Long time no talk, hey?
Today turned out to be an alright day, despite it's best efforts to ruin my life. I had my workshop this morning in 330....having Michelle direct really re-instills in me the confidence that I need to get by in that crazy department. I remembered today why I loved being on stage. Kara and I were rehearsing in Con, and the light was coming in through the dusty windows and there was the most beautiful glow to the stage.... our scene felt like it came alive. Of course... three hours later when we brought it in front of Michelle, it was dead like I wish our goldfish was. but I got some good suggestions....Michelle wants me to learn how to walk like a man, so she had Shamus demonstrate, and I had to follow him around the room, strutting just like him. We are back on track anyway, to make a long story short again. Then I had 245... got my cad assignment, which is good, because I can start it this weekend. 201... good. I guess? We didn't get our tests back. 241...good? Handed in my huge project. This was the class that I snuck out of for five minutes, and I went into the bathroom on the main floor, and I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes and had a little nap...I was so tired. But tonight, tonight redeemed itself. No homework (well... no homework that I'm going to be doing) and girl movies, and laundry, and a soon to be clean room. The rest of my week looks okay, and I am so glad that I get to go to Marcus's for TG, even though there aren't enough beds for everyone.
Hmmm...what else. Jeff stopped me on the street today and we had a fantastic conversation about kids....he is a big brother to a little guy here in Kingston, and I work with the V's, so we swapped embaressing kid stories. The weather was gorgeous...I cleaned marcus's car out for him....I'm going to get a good sleep tonight...everything feels like it's going okay. This is the kind of day that I need for my Head Gael interviews....sigh...still no call. I await patiently. And I eat. And I wait. It's not one of my more refined points.
So that's it. A quick update. nothing important really. Just life in it's most selfish and materialistic context. I wish I had something more to say. Truely, I'm just glad that I have beena ble to successfully cross another Wednesday off of my list. Blah. And friday is payday as well, which is definitly a bonus. I need to clean my room...it's a pig sty. Everyday I have to clean my room. It's not like highschool where it was clean all the time...I go through cycles during the day where I do and I don't have time to put everything away. And my boyfriend... well that's another story. A messy one.
Oh! News - my mom is engaged to Mike Dix! It's such a wonderful feeling. I feel like I have a family again. She calls me and she sounds so completly content with her life and with him. She sounds full and happy and young and fresh and I feel so happy knowing that she's okay....it's been a really long road for my family, and there's a lot of water under the bridge. But now it's like we've found something of a link to keep it all together. It's weird too though...not having a 'home' that's mine, new brothers, new food...stupid things like that. But what I have to keep in mind is that it's not my life anymore, it's hers. I'm a visitor when I go home, at best. I mean... I have all the benefits of being a member of the household....fridge access....being able to walk around in my PJ's all day... but it's a life that I am never really going to be a part of again. I've been feeling this ever since we moved from Calgary. I don't even remember what it was like to live there anymore, it's been so long. Adam and I were talking that we have only seen eachother for 10 days in the last 2 and a half years.... makes me want to take every strand of my life and weave them back into one knot again. But I have to just choose one direction now, and make that "my life" because I can't keep double existing forever. I don't know. It will take some time. I just need to support my mom, and I do, I am so excited to get a new dress :) I guess I'll let this little rant be....doesn't really say anything....just a lot of talk. Okokokok, farewell fair cruelty (it's from my scene) :)
