10:41 pm - Wednesday, Mar. 31, 2004
Just plain venting for ventings sake
Why haven't I written in so long? I feel disconnected, disjointed from everything lately. The stress of school and holding down a job and being H.Gael has really started to get to me, and I feel like noone in my life is making it any easier for me to do my jobs - 'no one' includes S.S., my profs, my housemates, my co chairs, my alarm clock.... everything that I feel is working against me. All the weight that I lost is piling back on, and I have 4 loads of laundry to do... these are all such small things, but they are indicitive that I am slowly losing control. It's just the marks ... having dissipointed my teachers this semester killed me inside. I shouldn't have to be scared to walk in to the drama department, in fear that I will see a prof who's class I skipped last week. And the hospital incident with my ear, and now this sinus infection. I kind of just want to get some sleep?!?!?! I think that I am so grouchy because I didn't go to bed last night, but god damnit I deserve to vent, and if I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it here where it can't harm anyone.
I have a job interview in 25 minutes, so I am going to go and put some concealer underneath my eyes, and pretend like I've got it all under control....
