7:27 pm - Monday, May. 03, 2004
Ducka ducka
Work is going so well. I love being able to set my own hours. I love making a schedule for the day, and having the power to decide what needs to get done, and what needs to wait. I love the fact that I am making an impact on first year students by writing the handbook. And I love that I am doing what I dreamed that I would be doing three years ago when I first hear about who "HG" really was. It has been an uphill experience on the whole, but a satisfying one. I really can't wait for the rest of the summer, and I have big plans especially for the next few days, when I have a lot of writing to do.
That being said... I'm meeting with the faculty tomorrow, and my stomach gets into little knotsies just thinking about it. If there is one thing that I dislike about this job ... it's that I am taking shit for other people acting stupid. When it all hits the fan, it falls sqarely on my shoulders, and I need to be ready to take responsibility for people's actions, even if I don't approve of them. Tomorrow is just with the dean, not the principal....so I am not as stressed out as I could be.
And - good news. I talked with Adam tonight, and it was a really nice, easy flowing conversations. I might head back to Calgary sometime this summer? Although I never know when I am going to have the time (or the money, for that matter) to travel. I'd like to reconnect with him though ... keep in touch with a good friend. And definitly one who knows me better than most people.
I don't know. This is so expository ... I need to go deeper. There are things brewing under the surface that make me unsure about how I am feeling. It's a combination of marcus leaving ... all this stuff with the Dean ... my bike being stolen ... moving ... money ... that under the happy exterior, I feel as though things are kind of crumbling. Maybe all I need is a good cry? I am going to try to call my mom again, and start to get everything in my head sorted out.
PS - Friends who ditch other friends really suck
