2:46 am - Friday, Jul. 09, 2004
My diary is now in two places at once (and they said it couldn't be done)
It's been a while since I've been here. Admittably it's because I spent a lot of money on a paper diary, and after writing online for a few years, I wanted to see what it would feel like going back to paper. It's been a good experiment, because I find that I can be a lot more honest with myself ... not that I have been lying in this diary. But there are many things that I don't talk about because I don't want 'people' ... anyone to think that I'm being a bitch, or that I'm being self indulgant. Or I worry that someday all of this personal stuff will be scattered across cyber space, and I will have no control over it. With my paper diary, there is something very satisfying about knowing that it is for me only. I can explore feelings as extreme as love and hate, talk about experiences that may not be 'right', or simply rant about my day without having to justify myself. I think that I will keep it up, but there is something that I definitly miss about my online diary. I love the simplicity of it. I could write pages and pages and pages and just keep typing as fast as I am thinking ... and I don't have that luxory with my paper diary. I get tired. Is it possible for me to keep doing both? I don't know. I may try. Until then - goodnight
